Chapter to end

 You call, I answer, to hear the same topic as before. You vent, I listen, and give you the best advice and wisdom I have. You’re lonely, need a moment, and to my door you come. To receive that eye to eye contact that you wish you could get at home. You say you love me, I say the same, because no one knows our story. How far back we go, how long we’ve grown, into the roots that were planted before us. In the toxic environment, the abandonment and trials, and still we tried not to be a statistic. 

I made it out, you dove right in, back to the same patterns. You give loyalty to those who wish ill towards you. While I give grace and keep my distance because my discernment is constantly working. I want the best for you when all you want is comfort. Chasing a dream and getting so close. To then fall back to the familiar patterns all because you couldn’t keep that mouth closed. Not everyone needs to see and know what you’re doing. Who you’re around and who you’re screwing. Simply because they don’t want the best for you. They curse you behind your back and speak death upon you. Little did you know, I’ve always prayed for you. Prayed for your protection from the things seen and not. Meanwhile the legacy chooses a different route. The go by what the cards say as each deck is laid out. Take it at its word as if that’s the correct route. 

One thing I know, is that you cannot serve two. We are not meant to live in a place of confusion but yet you do. I’m not here to bash you or wish ill will. What I’m doing is saying my last testament of this will. For years my door has always been open. To be that friend and the shoulder you cry on. People do not see you for the true person you are. They only see what you can give them and they treat you like their lucky star. All this is good until that light goes dim. 

That is when you call on your friend. To protect myself from this hamster wheel of madness, I’m bowing out now before it continues to be more sadness. This is not a moment of jealousy but a moment of clarity. For I see now how you’ve looked at me. A friend who is there until the end. The one you never have to pour into. My well has run dry and have nothing else to give. So you move forward and live the life of pretend. Don’t worry about me, let’s be honest you never do. For every conversation has also been about you. Maybe I could get five minutes here and there but that doesn’t last long because you can’t handle or deal with my despair. That’s okay because there’s value in this lesson. You can’t keep pouring into someone that can’t pour into themselves. You’ll turn into their water fountain, constantly pouring as they push down the button. Allowing it to spill over and hit the floor. 

That fountain is no longer in service. It’s going back to the manufacture to get refurbished. Not into what was but what it should be. An empty vessel to be a blessing. No more pouring in dehydrated places. You’re not their soil or their farmer. They have to learn who made them. It’s not your job to train them. If you continue to do so, you’ll get hurt in the long run. For once that root sprouts, it thinks it’s ready to be on their own. Then they’ll come back for nourishment and shade. To get right back up and do the same thing again. See the pattern now, use wisdom and go. They will never change nor will they ever grow. Love them from afar and wish them well. You have work to do and you have to do it well. Take it from me and save yourself from the tears. Care more and pour more into yourself to save yourself many years. Not everyone deserves your friendship or needs it for that matter. Have peace with this wisdom and close this much needed to end chapter.