When you fall in love with the assign and not the assignment


In your walk with God, he will assign either someone to you or vice versa. People will come in and give you a word or bless you financially, pray for you, and much more. If your discernment is not as strong or if you are already in your moment of weakness, you can misunderstand the actual assignment. You can start catching feelings for the person that you were assigned to help and that makes the assignment more complicated when it should not have been in the first place. That is why it is so important for all of us to protect our mind, our hearts, and our bodies. Now I will talk about this from the angle of a single woman and a married one.

    As a single woman you can meet men (single, married, or both) and God can show you things about that individual. You have a choice to either share with them or simply pray for them however, because you have a desire for companionship and that is on the forefront of your mind you not only share what was shown but you also open your heart to them. Some may not see anything wrong with this. They may say "this is how I met my spouse," it sounds great when you explain to an immature person or someone who believes in fairy tales. However, when you are a woman of God with strong discernment you can see this a problem from the very beginning. Let me explain a little deeper. If you are put in this person’s life to pour into them what was poured into you then you developed feelings for them, and a relationship begins guess what your foundation is? Your pouring. And because of this, a codependency is formed. They want and expect you to feed them, and you expect them to fill a void you have and being wanted is your drug of validation which is equals one unhealthy relationship. You two will become so dry that you will start to hate each other and hate God in the process when you two were not supposed to be together at all.

Let us just say if that person is already married and you are single, this will give the allusion of “The grass is greener on the other side” which will cause that person to have fantasies about you and then they stumble and fall. Which has happened on many occasions and continues to happen. You can be so unhappy in your current state that anything looks good to you. That person could be coming into your life to bless you and your family and you allowed your flesh to take over and think that that person wants you on a romantic level. Therefore, it is beyond important and quite frankly serious that if or when you hear from God to speak into someone, make sure that your flesh is moved aside and the spirit in you is fully ready to release what was given. You do not want to be out of order or worse, cause that person and yourself to fall from grace. The beautiful thing about God is that he will give you grace from your mistakes, but he also corrects you when you do it. So please do not think that you are pouring into this married man and him leaving his wife for you is going to go well with God. Same goes for the single men and a married woman.

I can tell you from personal experience that I thought this one guy years ago was the one. Every conversation took both of us to the cross and we held each other accountable in our growth steps. Because I wanted a husband so bad, I started catching feelings and allowed my mind to go from the assignment to the assigned. Little did I know that the things we were talking about, pouring into each other, and studying was equipping him for the wife God had for him on the other side. Of course, I was upset, hurt, and downright angry. I just could not get mad at God; this was my fault and I had to sit in it and own it. He is married now and super proud of him and where he his compared to when we first met. And no everyone is your assignment, nor will they be. We as women love to help people because we are nurturing my nature. We must hold onto this one statement that God showed me even today: "Everybody wants somebody, but somebody is not meant for everybody." Meaning, you are not everyone’s go-to pouring person and they are not going to be the same for you. Please hear my heart when I say to really stay close to god, hear his heart and instructions. This will save you from your own personal heartache due to not follow instructions. I learned so much about myself that season and I am thankful to say that I am happy he was not meant to be my husband. We will be divorced my now because the foundation was not right plus, he was not supposed to be my husband in the first place. The no’s maybe so painful but trust when I say that his protection over you is worth every no, you will hear.

Take a seat, really look at what you are doing, who you are pouring into, and who is pouring into you. Is this person who is pouring into you in love with you or the assignment? Are you pouring into someone? Are you in love with them instead of the assignment? If so, please get back in alignment with God to change the tone and move away from the person. You do not want to get caught up and be the one in tears in the future.


Love You


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