Lost beyond measures

I would love when life worked my way, when the world makes sense and when family was just down right normal. However, my life has yet to be normal and not even close to making sense. I really hoped that this year, 2016 would be 20x's better than 2015. But yet again.....I was wrong. The start of this year was exciting, I didn't know what God had for me with the second chance at nursing school. Was it the program I wanted to be in? Not really but I wanted to start off right with a different perspective. Now my grades were down right amazeballs passing exams left and right. However there was one just one exam that just did not like me at all. This exam was a medicine math test. With this test you simply needed to get a 100%. You had three beautiful chances to succeed. Well this women right here needed three chances. The first time was a 80%, the second chance 90% and that beautiful third try was a..........80%. To be told yet again that you've been doing great and I have so much faith in you however, you can no longer be in the program and in top of that you have to start all over and you owe us money.

To be perfectly human about this, I was and still am mad as hell. I've gave it my all and did my best with all things that came my way but it just wasn't enough. To make matters more complicated, my inner circle believes in their heart that #1 I'm not supposed to be in the medical field. #2 I've been distracted by someone. Or the best one was #3 your supposed to be back with your ex husband and this is why life has not worked out for you.

Now back story is that after my divorce, for years I felt cursed. Hense why I'm still single, having health problems and simply being in the season of not enough. So hearing the ex husband was a certified trigger. Not every advice is needed. Not every opinion is necessary. Some people are just down right special that they simply don't think before they talk.

The only one that I have not heard from who is more important and that is God. I'm so lost at this point and not hearing from him is so painful for me. But let's be honest, have I sat still long enough to talk to him let alone hear from him? Sadly no, I've been moving around trying to find another school a job and even a husband. I just need direction and a purpose this year.

God please help me

Your daughter


Popular Posts