The Love Dare day four

Today's dare is all about being thoughtful, considering you better half in everything that you do. The dare was to simply call your spouse in the middle of the day to simply see how they are doing and also if there was anything that they need. I kind of do this already to the point where he was annoyed and I just stop calling. I felt that I was doing to much and since he asked at times for space; I took it as when either him or I were at work, that was his space. I put fear aside and simply called to say hello and also try to know if there is anything he needs. He just said hello back and that he didn't need a thing but to make sure I took something out for dinner so he can fix it. Most people would enjoyed that response from their spouse but for some reason, I took it as a sign of rejection. Then I became depressed, stressed and overwhelmed at the same time. It took a few hours for me to snap out of it.

By that time he was on his way home for work and we were talking on the phone. He said that when I get this stressed out attitude, it brings him down and sometimes he just wants to leave me alone. Now since I cant say anything negative to him the only thing I could ask was if he wanted me. That question alone made him very irritated with me and all I could do was shut down. He asked me one simple question, "are you the type of person where you have to tell everyone what's going on?" "Or can you ever figure out things for yourself?" As much as that question hurt, it made me really think about it. There are times when I'm in my emotional moments and I just need to pick up the phone and call someone in my circle to vent. But how does God look at me while I'm doing this? As I'm calling someone and venting and possibly not saying not so nice things about my situation or a person God is right next to me. Why could I not just took a deep breath and talk to him? The truth is I feel that sometimes I need someones help to help me solve me instead of figuring it out for myself. It's time consuming for me to handle somethings on my own so why not ask for another persons opinion that eventually turns into my own personal answer?

As draining as this day was, it was a n eye opener for me. I need to talk to God more and seek him for the answers and no one else. I hope the next dare gets a little better.


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