Moving Forward

Moving on can be a hard task for anyone. Letting go of your past is something that you must do one day at a time. For the past three years, this has been very difficult for me to do. When you are in a relationship where you are mentally abused for days on end, hearing people say "move on" is easier said then done. I did not know who I was, I only knew the person he wanted me to be for his liking. I always had to ask for permission for everything ( I mean everything). From going out to eat, to getting my hair done and even seeing my family. I don't know how I found this normal for me.
In spite of being controlled, I did everything for him. From scheduling his appointments, driving him everywhere he needed to go, cooking, cleaning and even filling his taxes. It is kind of funny to me now to realize that not only was I his wife, but I was also his mother, personal assistant, financial advisor and taxi driver on a daily basis.
Now that I have been released from that relationship, I have found someone new (more like he found me). He is his own person, he does not need me to do anything for him except be myself. This is hard sometimes because there are day where I don't know who I am. I'm so used to doing everything to where now since I don't have to, it stresses me out. I have a constant need to double check and make sure things are done.
I thank God for blessing me with a man who has patience beyond belief. He is a strong God fearing man and that is something that I need. Not only does he put the cares of his family on his shoulders, he puts mine as well. I'm truly blessed to have someone that is walking with me as I heal from my past. If this is what moving forward looks like, I must keep going.


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