Watch and Wait

In this season of mine, trust has been the biggest topic of discussion. Understanding that God knows what he's doing even when I can't see it, is not easy for me at times. Yes he can and has done exceedingly and abundantly more that I could ever ask, hope, dream, or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). However, there are times when the "Yes" I've been asking for is a "Wait" instead. Granted those waits feels like no's during most weeks. Especially when I look to my left and right seeing others on social media exposing their highlights or their reels, which I might add is so not good for my mental health.

In life, you have to strengthen your worth by not comparing your life to someone else's. Yes, they have what you've been praying for however you have no clue what that person went through to receive nor keep it. I've come to understand that somethings I've prayed for would have done me more harm then good. Of course back then I wouldn't agree because I really really wanted it. For example, I prayed for a house. When I mean pray, I PRAYED for a specific house. I even went over there, laid hands, and praised God for this house in advance. Mind you, this house was a half a million dollars and this girl right here wasn't even making $20,000 a year. Yes God can give you what you desire, but he also gives you wisdom and this one lacked it on so many levels. I was up to my eyeballs in debt, working three jobs, and was living paycheck to Monday. 

Now if God would have gave me that house, I would have lost it before the first mortgage payment was due. Now how would that have been a blessing? Instead, God had to mature me with my finances to not only pay off my debt, but to also have money in my savings to where I will be okay if something ever happened ie an emergency fund. Life happens of course and you'll see that money come and go. However, it's the skills and discipline to put that money back where it belongs. And of course debt gets paid off to pile back up again (such is life). As long as I again have the discipline to pay it back off. 

Now, there are somethings that I have been asking God for this season and I haven't heard a "No" I've only been told to "Watch Me." I must be honest and say that's a first for me. How to a watch him when I don't know what to watch for? How do I know that I'm watching for what I've prayed for? This is what spiritual growth looks like. I have to strengthen my spiritual muscles to get to the next level of my growth. You can't move up with the same ethic as before. Just like with a job, you have to develop new skills that will make you marketable. If you want new doors to open, you have to develop new skills, strengths, discipline, wisdom, and discernment to get there. God does the super but you have to do your part in the natural.

So while I watch and wait, I'll strengthen my muscles of wisdom and discernment to prepare me for what I'm asking for. 


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