Tainted Sheets

          Some yearn to be in relationships, while others are completely content being alone. With the current time of social distancing, online dating as become the norm. You set the date, spent the money to find the best outfit. You took a chance despite a pandemic to simply meet somebody. They made you laugh, brought you flowers, and gave you a different perspective on how to see life. You start feeling this person and they start feeling you. Communication is the key to longevity they say and having that tool can help grow a relationship. But what if that very helpful tool can be a something so hurtful? Is anyone really ready for honesty now a days? I was always told that there is no set schedule for when you decide to be in a committed relationship. So why would men have a big deal with being committed? Why is a title such a bad thing?  

What I don’t understand from another perspective is that why is it acceptable for people who are emotionally unavailable to drag someone along knowing that they are not ready for a relationship? Do you truly know what this does to the other person? Why waste someone’s time, money, and energy on a relationship that never was nor would be? What do expect the other person to do after they find out that their sheets where tainted by your unwillingness to commit but yet wanted to be intimate? Who is to blame in this situation? Is it her? Is it him? Is it both parties? Some will blame the women for being with a man that was emotionally unavailable. However, this topic should have been talked about from the very beginning so there is no confusion involved. In most cases, this red flag is ignored with the hopes of someone changing their minds or because one person is completely content with the situation.  

What is mind blowing is when one person is called out for their behavior and then the situation turns to be the other person's fault. The sad thing is, nobody takes the responsibility for their actions nor has empathy for what their actions have caused to the other person. Once you find out the truth of the non-existent relationship, what do you do? Do you stay because you don’t want to be alone? Do you stay because you simply want someone to want and love you? Let me tell you from personal experience, your worth is so much more than a warm body next to you. That body may be warm, but that heart is cold and non-existent towards you. No matter what you say or do, this person will not want you the way you want them. It is best for you to let them go and set yourself free from confusion and heartache. 

            I want you to spend time with yourself to truly know who you are. When you know who you are, you know what you will and will not accept from anyone. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries around your heart. The bible says to guard your heart for a reason. You can’t be so willing to give your heart away to someone that was never built to manage it in the first place. If you spend the time with yourself and know your worth, your discernment will be strong enough to see the red flags in the beginning. My advice for you is to fall in love with yourself and treat yourself in the way you want someone to treat you. That why when the right person comes along, you will know that in fact he’s the right one. This advice goes to the men as well. Don’t settle with just any women because you don’t want to be alone. Know your worth and see the women for who she really is, not the one for you. Prepare yourself for the one God has for you.