The cost of co-dependency
Addictions come in many forms. To some it is alcohol, while others drugs, and to a small amount it is sex. But nobody every taught me nor showed me that people can be addicted to well.......people. In today's world with the ever growing and changing world of social media, people have a dependency on other people's approval. Even in relationships if a person has not really worked on their own healing, they will look at their significant other to fill places that they simply cannot and will never be able to do so.
If you are a half full of a person, there is no way you will be able to have a whole relationship. When your not grounded in who you truly are, you would find yourself waiting and seeking a conversation or an approval for them. To be honest and completely transparent, I was one of those people. I would wait for a phone call or a text message simply to know that I'm wanted. At times, I came across as pushy, smothering, and downright needy.
I must say that they were right to feel that way about me. I was very insecure and wounded from my past. A relationship was not wise for me at all, however like a stubborn child I refused to listen. I thought that if I had someone by my side, I would be secure within myself and any situation I face in my life. But the more I got myself involved in any relationship, the worse I became. You see it took several rejections to realize that I needed to be rooted in God before any man came into my life.
I found at times that I poured into men to fast from my time, money, and even my body. When you desire to be loved so bad, you don't stop at any lengths to find it. For those that I was pushy or needy, I truly apologize. I was looking for your to help me in my healing when it wasn't your position in the first place. I never meant to drain you nor make you some type of way about the woman you meet after me. It is not your job to fix anyone, you can only fix and work on yourself. I wish you nothing but the absolute best in life, even with me not in it.
If you are a half full of a person, there is no way you will be able to have a whole relationship. When your not grounded in who you truly are, you would find yourself waiting and seeking a conversation or an approval for them. To be honest and completely transparent, I was one of those people. I would wait for a phone call or a text message simply to know that I'm wanted. At times, I came across as pushy, smothering, and downright needy.
I must say that they were right to feel that way about me. I was very insecure and wounded from my past. A relationship was not wise for me at all, however like a stubborn child I refused to listen. I thought that if I had someone by my side, I would be secure within myself and any situation I face in my life. But the more I got myself involved in any relationship, the worse I became. You see it took several rejections to realize that I needed to be rooted in God before any man came into my life.
I found at times that I poured into men to fast from my time, money, and even my body. When you desire to be loved so bad, you don't stop at any lengths to find it. For those that I was pushy or needy, I truly apologize. I was looking for your to help me in my healing when it wasn't your position in the first place. I never meant to drain you nor make you some type of way about the woman you meet after me. It is not your job to fix anyone, you can only fix and work on yourself. I wish you nothing but the absolute best in life, even with me not in it.
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