Alone

It's in the moments of silence that will drive some people insane. During those silent times, you realize your biggest fears. I've notice how in this season, everyone around me is busy with their assignment. They are raising their children, working their daily jobs, and some are like me going to school. It's just in these times, I feel the most alone. I don't have anyone to talk to about how I truly feel inside. I have moments when I truly want to give up and walk away from it all. "Is all of this worth it?" I ask myself sometimes. Will all of this school work, studying, papers, deadlines, and not sleeping that well mean anything to my future? Will all these closed doors, denials, detours, and new paths build my character? When God tells you something and you have had multiple confirmations but yet you still don't see it come to pass what do you do? When you see others receive what you've been praying for, even in your season of loss you still find the strength to celebrate them even in the midst of your pain. But still I feel alone. I'm tired but my brain won't shut off. I'm emotional but can no longer cry. I'm empty but can still find away to pour into others. I'm alone in this world, my daughter is gone. Her father and I are over but yet we still try to be friends for her sake. Even in all of that, I'm alone. With a heavy heart, tired body, and a very over worked exhausted mind I'm alone.