Change Is Hard

It's been some time now since I've been on this blog of mine and I must say that things have changed. I went from reading and doing the Love Dare book, to now being single. This decision was a hard one but he was simply not ready to get married and be the husband that was needed for the house. With that being said, its a little weird now because we have a house together and are in the process of moving in the next few months. So how do you live with your ex and still keep the mind of Christ? Easy (well not always) just talk to God EVERYDAY and ask him to help you through the process.

It has been hard because I have good and bad days. There are days where I want to be that friend and hug him and talk to him. However, I have days where I want to run him over with my car. This is very painful for me since I have been through a divorce years before and it feels the same way. At first you want to blame yourself and ask those questions: Is it someone else? (I did go through his phone first before I asked. Should not have done that) Is it my weight? Did you feel pressured to get married?

But truth be told, it had nothing to do with me. Was I perfect? Absolutely not, but I owned up to my imperfections and have been growing from them. Sometimes the people in your life are only there for a season and we want to hold on to them for a lifetime. This has been my problem for years and yet I'm in a situation where I have to let him go and fully trust God to show me how to love me completely before I can have a husband or even a friend.

Sometimes God wants you all to himself so he can mold and shape you to become who he has called you to be. If he has to move someone and somethings in your life out of the way to do so, just let go and let him have his way. This is painful yes but I have to trust God during this process and see who I am going to be in the future.


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